Hogan's Thoughts
by Trekkiehood
Summary: When Hogan was first shot down, he went through a lot. Throughout his time at Stalag 13, he was able to forget, or at least numb, the memories of that time. But, one man brings it all back. What was Hogan thinking when General Beidenbender showed up? A missing scene from "Hogan Gives A Birthday Party".


_I recently rewatched "Hogan Gives A Birthday Party", and something really stuck out to me: Hogan's face when Beidenbender is telling him that he was responsible for shooting him down. I just couldn't get it out of my brain. The annoyed, hurt, and even sad look on his face. But the very next scene is Hogan conniving Beidenbender. What happened between the two scenes?_

 _This is my idea of what might have transpired between Beidenbender ruing one plan, and Hogan acting on another._

 _I do not own Hogan's Heroes. Everything in bold comes straight from the episode, "Hogan Gives A Birthday Party" by Richard Powell. No copyright infringement intended._

As always, please review.

 _God bless,_

 _Trekkiehood_

 **~TH~**

 **"What'll I do with my bombs colonel?" The young sergeant asked from behind Hogan.**

 **"Carter," Hogan scolded gently, almost distractedly.**

 **Carter looked slightly embarrassed, "Forget is sir, you've got your own problems."**

And they all realized it was more than just having to rethink their plan. They could see the inner turmoil raging within their CO. They followed him into the common room where he picked up a cup, then put it back down.

"I'll be in my office," he said to no one imparticular. No one objected. They gave each other concerned glances as he went into his room.

With the door closed behind him, Hogan closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

 _ **"I am the reason you are here Hogan,"**_ Biedenbender's words were spinning around his head, _**"You were shot down and I was shot up, to a general!"**_

It made him feel sick to his stomach. It all came back to him. The noises, the smell, the death. The scream of his gunman when he was hit. The way the scream died down to whimpers, then silence. His own order for everyone to jump. Jumping himself, then pain as something must have hit him on the way down.

His eyes snapped open. As bad as that had been, what had happened next had been so much worse. Being released from the hospital to Gestapo custody. The weeks spent with the Gestapo. As an officer, he was protected by the Luftwaffe, the SS didn't care about his rank. Didn't care except that his rank as Colonel allowed him to sit in on strategy sessions. Information they wanted. Then finally, blessedly, being sent to Stalag 13. Half dead and with more scars than he cared to think about.

And all of this, because of one man. And he even got a promotion out of it.

 _Promoted to general for shooting me down, me!_

He knew he had caused some trouble. He was known as a flying ace, but being promoted simply for shooting him down? Was he really hated that much by the Germans? It would certainly explain all the higherups who wanted to speak with him whenever they were in town. Explained why, at times, the Gestapo had tortured without even asking questions. He always assumed it was to wear him down. But, maybe there was more to it.

He clumsily made his way to his desk and fell into his chair. He couldn't get it out of his mind. This man had studied him. He had been studied to the point that Biedenbender was able to shoot him down. Sure, it had taken several tries and many German losses to finally cripple his plane to the point of no return, but in the end, they had succeeded.

And his men had died. He knew of at least three confirmed dead, not to mention his tail gunner who had died at his post. Dead, because one man had studied him. Dead, because they were aiming for him.

He sighed as he laid his head on his arms. He was so tired. Tired of Germany, tired of this camp, tired of playing the fool. To be honest, he was tired of being Papa Bear.

He wanted to go home.

Home, where he didn't have to sneak around German patrols. Where he didn't have to pretend to a cowed prisoner, or worse, a collaborator. Where he didn't have to constantly worry they were going to be caught or sold out or shot. Where he didn't have to keep the safety of over 2,000 men at the forefront of his mind.

He was just so tired. And Beidenbender had brought back all the memories he had hoped he'd forgotten about.

But that didn't matter now.

He sat up and slowly and allowed his command mind to take over. He had to get that refinery.

Ten minutes later he emerged from his office, smiling. "I've got it," he said placing his foot on the bench. Then he proceeded to explain how he would get Beidenbender to bomb his own factory.

They would get their mission accomplished, and Hogan would get just a brief moment of revenge.

 **~TH~**

 _Like I said, I think it would have brought back a lot of bad memories for Hogan. l think that making it look like Beidenbender bombed the refinery, and then sending him to England probably had a little to do with revenge._

 _Let me know what you think!_

 _Also, if there are any missing scenes you would like me to do, let me know! I love doing them!_

 _Oh! And I will post the next part of the "Home" series later this week. It will be from Newkirk's perspective._

 _God bless,_

 _Trekkiehood_


End file.
